“If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves upon execution.”
Robert Sewell

“If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.”
Edsger W. Dijkstra

“Programming can be fun, so can cryptography; however they should not be combined.”
Kreitzberg and Shneiderman

“Science is what we understand well enough to explain to a computer. Art is everything else we do.”
Donald Knuth

“In C++ it’s harder to shoot yourself in the foot, but when you do, you blow off your whole leg.”
Bjarne Stroustrup

“Software is getting slower more rapidly than hardware becomes faster.”
Niklaus Wirth

“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”
Emo Philips

“A refund for defective software might be nice, except it would bankrupt the entire software industry in the first year.”
Andrew Tanenbaum

“Quantum mechanic Seth Lloyd says the universe is one giant, hackable computer. Let’s hope it’s not running Windows.”
Kevin Kelly

“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”
Arthur Clarke

“Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.”
Rich Kulawiec

“From a programmer’s point of view, the user is a peripheral that types when you issue a read request.”
Peter Williams

“The teaching of BASIC should be rated as a criminal offence: it mutilates the mind beyond recovery.”
Edsger Dijkstra

“Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25.”
Andrew Rutherford

“When your work speaks for itself, don’t interrupt.”
Henry Kaiser

“Real men don’t use backups. They post their stuff on a public ftp server and let the rest of the world make copies.”
Linus Torvalds

“Premature optimization is the root of all evil.”
Donald Knuth

“GOTO is a four letter word.”
Edsger Dijkstra

“unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep”
anonymous

“If it wasn’t for C, we’d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.”
anonymous

“SQL, Lisp, and Haskell are the only programming languages that I’ve seen where one spends more time thinking than typing.”
Philip Greenspun

“There are two ways of constructing a software design: one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.”
Tony Hoare

“If you don’t want to be replaced by a computer, don’t act like one.”
Arno Penzias

“God exists since mathematics is consistent, and the Devil exists since we cannot prove it.”
André Weil

“Machines should work. People should think.”
Richard Hamming

“Good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement.”
Fred Brooks

“The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.”
Ludwig Wittgenstein

RTFM
Linpack Users’ Guide